Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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