My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
