I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
