We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
