I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
