You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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