i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
