ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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