I want you more than these girls want KFC
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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