it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
