he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
