And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
