She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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