No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
