I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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