I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
