Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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