i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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