he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
