Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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