you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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