i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
