I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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