very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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