So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
