i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
