I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
