He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
