She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
