peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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