The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
