Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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