have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Drunk is not a location!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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