I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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