Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
pop tarts are not kleenex
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
