i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
