I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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