No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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