guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
