I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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