shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
