I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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