Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
