he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
