WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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