well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
