is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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