he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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