Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm at about main and main street
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize