it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
