he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
